It is so easy to post these images and let you know where to buy this White Floral couture dress by posting a link to the White Couture dress purchase page or post links to where you can buy a similar outfit. But today is not the day. Today I’m going to pour my heart out on this paper. I Have changed. I started noticing the changes a while back. I have changed how I look at life. I have become less naïve and maybe a bit more ruthless and cold. I have grown tremendously, but I sometimes wish the growth would have happened sooner. I am more at peace, and I have fun meeting new people and making new friends. I am saying all of this to emphasise that I am different. I am not the same person that started this blog, but I am also clearly the same person. Life has been good to me, but life has also been harsh. But let me tell you all about that in the next paragraphs.
Marriage was never the goal.
Talking about my life is not easy. Sometimes so scary being vulnerable to people that might or will judge me. But I will do it nevertheless because blogging is something I love doing, and I do not think I will ever stop. As you might have noticed from previous blogs like THIS one, I am sometimes in a relationship, and sometimes I am not. I have always thought I wanted to get married, but as time passes and I can see things from an unfamiliar perspective, I have concluded that marriage was never the goal. The goal was happiness. And so, a shift in mindset started to occur when I would meet men that would say things like; I want to marry you, thinking that me hearing those words would make me excited and make me want to drop my panties. I mean, what makes you think I WANT TO MARRY you? Not every single woman you meet will be obsessed with marriage. I wanted/ want marriage, but only if it is with a partner who worships the ground I walk on, who does not tolerate my nonsense and can have a progressive conversation about his wants and needs in the relationship.
Dating and Money in the Economy that Is South Africa
Throughout my life, I have been lucky enough to meet men with whom I click. Whose personality fits with mine like a piece of a puzzle, and I have never had to have a conversation about money on a first or second date. It has always been obvious. Or, let us say, traditional. A guy pays on the first date, and you, as a woman, will spoil him if you choose for him to become your man, after he has proved to you that he cares about you and values you. It is not difficult for women to open their purses and spoil the man of their dreams. The issue is the uncertainty that comes with meeting someone online or offline who does not have clear or pure intentions for you. And while everyone has the potential to get played, others are left alone, single and with babies, because the guy they were seeing was deceptive about his intentions. (No hate or judgment to single moms, any woman can become a single mom regardless of how well women plan their futures). So we learn to navigate the dating scene cautiously and always go on a date with a photocopy of the heart. Never the original.
I had better potential to be someone’s girlfriend when I was poor.
I get it. I understand when a guy wants to provide for a girl financially, but what if she can give those things to herself, by herself? In this time and era, some guys feel like if she has her own house, her own car, and her own money, what can he possibly add to her life?
While women think they want financially stable men because it’s a metric that can somewhat be immediately measured, 50 cents said this in an interview, which has really stuck to me…
Women require maintenance. Not financial but mental maintenance, you know what I mean? On some level. So, if that maintenance is being done properly, you can put them in a room with billionaires, and it won’t matter. She will Be in there until she goes; Hold on, I’ve got to go. I got to go fix him something to eat.
The reality is that most women can provide a lot for themselves, but have men evolved so they can take care of other female needs and not just focus on money?
Most women are hard-wired to receive regardless of how much they make
In the first paragraph, I talked about how much I have changed and grown as a woman. But the change has come with much self-awareness. For example… It does not matter how much money I have; I would still want my man to take my car to the car wash, put petrol in my car and pay for dinner. The reality is that no matter how much I want to say that if I have money, I will not mind dating someone who does not have anything and can provide nothing monetary for me, I am HARD WIRED to want a man to take care of me, especially in the initial stages of the relationship. After we have been in a committed relationship for a while, and he loses his job for whatever reason, I HAVE NO PROBLEM with taking care of our household. NO PROBLEM at all. And this is the Beatrice I have come to accept, love and trust.
In all things, do what makes you happy. FYI, I did not want to share this blog because it was too personal. These images and article have been ready for about seven days now. I just had to sit down and re-read this article because I was either very emotional or just angry when I wrote it. I am glad I did not scrape it away. I hope this makes you happy and gives you a unique perspective on life.
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