We keep allowing people to make decision for us: BADEYA feat. SIR JAVA – LOVE OF MY LIFE
I’ve been listening to ask a man for a while now and one story or someone’s experience really touched me. I don’t know if you remember it but to roughly and deeply paraphrase her story, it sounded a lot like this
‘I’ve been dating this guy for almost 10 years now. I have always wanted to get married but he doesn’t want to get married to me. I don’t know if it’s me he doesn’t want to get married to me or he just doesn’t want to get married. I have tried hinting that we should get married but the guy doesn’t seem interested. I love him. Please help.
I’ve been in love, I’ve fallen out of love, I’ve been hurt and still in love and this one time I was the only one in the relationship when the man had long left. It wasn’t easy, as all heartaches and heart breaks are. Pain isn’t easy and it’s hard to endure. But what I can take from all these experiences, the good and the bad is that I learnt that we are dealing with other individuals who might not necessarily have good intentions for us. These people might have the best intentions for us as well, as every coin has 2 sides, but because we are human being with our own wants, needs and aspirations, we can’t control the other person.
We can’t control people: the only people we can control is ourselves, and so it’s important to find people we are in sync with, to fall in love with those we find connections with. It’s important to be with someone who wants the same thing and not be scared to ask if those are his/ her intentions too, from the jump.
We live n fear: but we shouldn’t live in fear. When you meet someone you like, looks are cute but character is more important. Don’t be afraid to say what you want and don’t be afraid to leave when what you want cannot be found. No compromise. What do you have to lose? Nothing.
The heart wants what the heart wants. So if you have been in a relationship with a compatible partner for years, things change, people change, perspectives change, goals change and people grow apart. If marriage is what you both wanted but now someone’s goals are towards other things. Don’t hold the persons growth against him or her but don’t stay if your needs are not being met and you’ve talked about them time and time again.
It’s been 5 years, he still hasn’t married me. He isn’t broke, he has a house, he has a car, he has investments, he has money for lobola but he doesn’t want to marry me. What do I do? Me… id walk away. Five years is a lot of time but all that time is not time wasted, five more years with someone that doesn’t see eye to eye with you would have been a waste of time.. Maybe
Conclusion… we are all different, and we shouldn’t hold grudges when people leave, grow or think you are not worth the ring or the title, move on to someone who sees things the way you see them. It will be painful, it will be hard but you will be happy in the end being happy b because you finally got what you wanted.
I wrote this song, Badeya featuring Sir Javas – LOVE OF MY LIFE- , with this concept in mind. Allow people to be who they are, you can’t control them, the only person you can control is yourself, your actions, and how you react to situations. But the most important question you should always ask yourself is , WHAT DO I WANT… after you answer that question, you will find peace with your decision to leave or stay.
Check out the Lyric of Badeya feat Sir Javas Video HERE