She had called him earlier during the day but he hadn’t picked up. It had been months since they started dating. All was well until one day it slowly changed.

Later that evening after a long hard day’s work, preparing for bed, she thought about him. Fantasized about the first few moments they had met and how magical they were. So she picked up the phone to call, it was around midnight, but changed her mind to rather send him a text.

Susan: Hi | Thawanda: Hey |Susan: I miss you | Thawanda: Aaaahhh  that’s sweet. | Susan: Good Night| Thawanda: Night

And just like that it hit her. It had been like this for weeks now where she would ask him if he missed her and he would respond with vague answers. She didn’t understand what had happened, what had caused the amend. She had tried to enquire only to be hit by; I’m just busy at work. She was so confused. Why was he giving her the run around, had she pissed him off, maybe he had another woman in his life, maybe he was just not that into her.

She was sad that a person she had grown so fond of had changed. She cried herself to sleep that night, as if he had just broken up with her but in essence he had long broken up with her, she had just only found out that evening.

The End

What do you do when a person leaves, walks out of your life? You make choices. You choose to be heartbroken, you choose to be sad, you choose to wallow in your misery and you choose it to affect you for the rest of your life. You choose to be insecure, you choose to be angry. Choices make or break us: We will see what you have chosen based on your actions.

Below are a few choices you can ponder on to help you get back on track.

  1. Choose to forgive : People will wrong you, whether it’s intentional or not. When you forgive them you regain your power. Forgive them practically as well as theoretically and once you have forgiven them…
  2. Choose to forgive yourself: Forgive yourself for being foolish, for being naïve, for not being able to see it coming, forgive yourself whole heartedly. Once you have forgiven yourself…
  3. Choose to see your value: There is nothing wrong with you, maybe something wrong with them. I’m talking about when someone decides to leave you and you were blind-sided. You are valuable and in someone else’s eyes, priceless. One day you will find that one person who understands why you might be clingy, possessive, sometimes cold, withdrawn etc. We all don’t come in cute packages; some of us have been through real ish. Most importantly, try to choose not to go back to a person who initially couldn’t see your worth. They don’t deserve you.
  4. Choose to refocus: But I don’t want anyone else Beatrice, she said. I want him. I responded – But baby, why be with someone who doesn’t value you, who doesn’t care about you or your feelings? Know your value and understand that you will meet someone even better. But only if you understand your price.
  5. Choose to show the world that you are not a victim: $#!* Happens, but so does beauty and life. Go grab a cup of coffee, surround yourself with friends and people that care. Don’t lock yourself up. The world needs to see that pretty face, sexy legs and banging body! And make sure to remember to wear your best accessory. You smile
  6. Choose to start over: No matter how long you have been waiting, the man/woman God has for you will surpass your expectations. You will meet him/her when God says so. Not a minute early, not a moment later. You deserve to be loved, wait for your soul mate.
  7. If you are married: choose to remember the good times. Choose to remember why you guys got married, choose to work it out. Whatever you do, make a choice and embrace the consequences.

I sat at Tribeca restaurant in Brooklyn mall today after work. It was amazing to be in a different environment. I enjoyed the mild coffee provided and later the green smoothie which contained apple, celery and cucumber. I sat there reading Vogue and later switched to an inspirational book which quoted, ‘face your deficiencies and acknowledge them but don’t allow them to master you’, which in turn lead to the inspiration behind this post.


Beatrice Banda

Tribeca-2 Tribeca-4 Tribeca-7

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