Fete De La Musique Pretoria and the fear of being alone

Fete De la Musique Pretoria: The village and The club, Hazelwood.

I have never wanted to get married to a husband, I’ve always wished I would get married to my friend. It’s not easy for me to ‘be in a relationship’ , it’s easier to just simply be friends and for the relationship to develop naturally. That way, no one is putting their ‘best foot forward’ and no one is trying to impress anyone. Which leads to a higher probability of experiencing someone in their most natural state minus the bull.

I have issues! I’m scared of being alone and I fear being lonely. I’m terrified of being alone because most of us were not created to be by ourselves. I had the best time growing up because I was always around family. And with my brother and sisters around me, I literally felt no need to be in any kind of romantic relationship. I was happy being surrounded by so much love, every day. As we grow up, we evolve and create our own families, and some people get left behind: that someone is me. I used to be so scared of being left behind and I didn’t want to force myself to get into a relationship just to fill a void created by my loss of immediate family. So, I decided to extend my family myself.  I understand that family isn’t just genetic blood ties, family is whomever we choose to remain in our lives and impact it positively and forever.

I obviously still have a handsome brother and two beautiful sisters, but my family has since expanded. I have a nucleus of friends I consider my sisters and brothers but the one I’m going to share with you on this blog post is Bongiwe Mzondeki. I think I’ve already mentioned her a couple of times but a couple more times won’t kill you.

Bongiwe Mzondeki and I had the most fabulous time at the Fete de la Musique Pretoria. It was a warm autumn morning one day on a Saturday. The streets were quiet as I drove to Hazelwood but the streets started filling up as I got closer to Fete Del La Musique Pretoria. I found parking a bit far away from the music festival, locked my car and started walking slowly towards the sound of live music.  When I got there, there she was, family, seated outside one of the restaurants that were hosting the event. I thought, Finally, let’s get this party started.

I’m scared of being alone but I would never allow just anyone to have my time unless we really click. If we don’t gel, that’s ok, I have other friends. It’s the same with relationships. I am scared of being lonely, but I’d rather be lonely than be with someone who doesn’t get me or make me a priority and doesn’t value me. This makes me choose my extended family very carefully.  It’s the same with romantic relationships, if we can’t be friends, if we are not priorities to each other, we rather let it go, than force something that’s clearly not working.

The man I call my own has gone through lengths before he can call me his own.  I have to be convinced to get into a relationship because I don’t have a void anymore because my friends are my everything. You have to offer me more than what I regularly get from my best friends.  Whatever he is offering must be worth it. It must not just look like diamonds meanwhile its simply glass.  It must be exquisite.

The morning of The Fete de la Musique Pretoria show, I chose to wear a bodysuit and a denim short dress with a pair of black and white vans and a bag from Steve Madden.  Long sleeve body suits are perfect for winter. I wear long sleeve body suits because :

1. I want to be neat and look neat, so I don’t always keep tucking in my top
2. It keeps me from layering too may clothes in winter. Without a long sleeve body suit, I would have worn a vest, top, some accessories, tons of shape wear and a jacket. Which is typically too much for me, as a minimalist.
3. They stretch. Body suits are LIFE to a big girl, and when one purchases the perfect size, one will never look back.

The one issue I have with body suits is when I should go to the bathroom. Plus, its winter. You can only imagine the amount of dressing down that takes place when one is wearing a bodysuit. It’s like wearing a jumpsuit in winter. Although its warm to wear, lol the toilets don’t have heaters.

All images taken by Bongiwe Mzondeki and Beatrice Thandi Banda.

xoxo Bea    

P.S if you see any white spots on my braids, skawara, those spots are my white hair 🙂

Beatrice Outfit of the Day : Sneakers: Vans, Bodysuit: Mr Price, Bag: Steve Madden, Socks: Happy Socks.