Evolution in a Black Mini Dress: I believe we all have a hundred different facets that reveal themselves in different circumstances. I’ve never thought of myself as weak and that has helped me in dealing with different kinds of healing. If it’s a scratch, I see it, feel it, apply wound-healing ointment, and move on. If it’s an emotional wound, I see it by recognizing it but I sometimes don’t allow myself to feel it right away. Being a woman has given me the opportunity to feel things when the time is right. So, most of the time I allow myself to feel everything I had packed away at a specific time. I allow myself to cry, to scream and I allow myself to be vulnerable, to be weak, and to be fragile. I have conditioned myself to understand that nothing can break me. And because I know nothing can break me, when I do decide to break, I do so on my own terms.
Whether with certain people, certain situations, or certain periods in life, our minds have a multitude of layers. Sometimes I’m the Hero. Sometimes I am the one that needs saving. I don’t think that we are born and remain with one way of being. What I thought I needed when I was 25 and what I know I need now are two very different things. When it comes to relationships I need you to be an amazing communicator. But I’ve met amazing communicators that communicate crap. They know the words to choose, and they know the message they want to convey but all of that communicating and still get nothing substantial. Yep! So, although communication is key, real love can only be felt by the heart. Love is quiet, love is understanding, and love isn’t afraid to lose. Love is honest and it doesn’t fear. Real love is pure connections of transparent intentions.
Evolve without Manipulation
I’ve learned to practice love even on people I do not love or like. Instead of using him, I will be honest with him that he’s not my type. It’s so easy to say but a lot of people find it hard to not ‘use’ people. There is a guy I used to know, he knew that he didn’t like or love the girl that was throwing herself at him, but he used her regardless. He knew he could use her affection, her desire to be loved, and her perfect body to fulfill his basic needs. He eventually broke her heart in a million pieces. He had juggled with her emotions, spat on the shield she had made porous just for him and poured the ashes of her dignity in a river filled with snakes. We couldn’t be friends anymore after that. His disregard for women was too much for me to bear. I tore any shred of friendship we had left and disappeared.
Our perception of things evolves and changes as we go through life and experience more of it, which is so beautiful, isn’t it? But it’s also so very sad. There are pieces of me I wish I could get back. Life had to teach me lessons I cannot forget. I came into this life, naïve, full of hope, and looking forward to a rosy future. But hope can be dangerous. I’m here now. With bionic parts. I am stronger.
We learn things painfully
We learn things painfully. And when you learn something painfully, a part of you must die. That’s the pain. When a dream is shattered, for example, a huge part of you that constituted that dream has to be stripped away and burned. Life is a constant process of death and rebirth and to participate in that is to allow yourself to be redeemed by it. And so the good is that process of death and rebirth. Voluntarily undertaken. You are not as good as you should be so you let that part of you die. And someone comes along and says, you know what, there is some dead wood here, it needs to be burned off. Sometimes you can think that that stuff is still a little bit alive, and when that burns it is going to hurt! Yes, it will hurt, and it will be painful!! No kidding! But maybe the thing that emerges in its place is something better. I think that this is the secret of human beings. The process of evolution. The need to grow, to want to carve a path towards a different version of yourself.
There are so many different elements that define who we truly are deep within, and I believe these are forever evolving.
Black Mini Dress
These images of the Black Mini dress were taken at Blueberry Hill Hotel in Randburg. They have some of the most beautiful Foyers. Kagiso and I couldn’t resist a Photoshoot.
All images were taken by Kagiso Motlhamme. You can find a similar dress, HERE, AND HERE.
XOXO
