Growing up has been a journey. As some of you may already know… I recently had a birthday and to be more specific my birthday was on the first of January. I spent that day but, mostly the previous night, the 31st of December having a lot of fun. But when the sun rose in south Africa in 2017 I had a lot to think about. What I wanted to achieve, what I had already achieved and basically where my life is at, at this present moment.
I am not married, yet. I wanted to married thou by now. I wanted to have at least two kids by now all together with a loving husband but that didn’t happen. Being hurt and having a dark past can put one off men. Because I know my worth I would always say someone should work really hard to get me. Sometimes the guys I met would be like; damn, she crazy, no one has time to work that hard or they just wouldn’t believe hat such a pretty girl could be single. LOL. I realized that when two people are meant to be, two people will be. When you find the right person it won’t be difficult to connect and the guy will understand because most women only act hard to get because it’s not easy knowing who is genuine and who is not, so we put men through tests. Some pass and same fail.
But I wanted to be married, I still think about it and my life in South Africa. Right now it’s not necessarily about the wedding day and the dress, at this moment it’s about the connection but… it’s also about dating someone who is ready for marriage. Etc. lets face it, enjoyed the independent life..ok.. Let’s move along now.
Let’s start with friends. I had a lot of friends growing up in Pretoria, South Africa. My friends where sooo many when I turned twenty that if i had gotten married that year. I would have easily plus/ minus 400 guests and I would have made it work. Right now i have associates and people I can hang out with but my real girlfriends are less than five. I dated this guy from Church once, we broke up. I met a girl from the same church and we became friends a few months after the breakup, I told her about the church guy I had dated a few months back and literally cried on her shoulder. Six months after that she comes to me and says, I hope you not going to be mad, but I and your x boyfriend are dating. LOL RIGHT? I couldn’t say anything because it was going to look as if I wasn’t over him, yet again, all she could have done was say hey B, I think i Like him. Would you be ok if we dated? That’s all
The unfortunate thing is that such scenarios happen often between frenemies. You think she is your friend until she doesn’t think twice when a penis is presented to her. Oh well… I can’t say I know what it is or what it was with this specific south African friend of mine but that was a lesson.. Don’t trust females. Maybe its my fault i date good-looking guys that everyone wants a piece of or girls are just envious of my choices but true friends never date a true friends ex, it’s an unwritten code. And if you really want to date the guy I broke up with at least lead him to the alter.
So lesson number one don’t trust females and if you do, brace yourself for the consequences.
The other thing I learned growing up is that people are attracted to success and progression but the thing is, not all of us progress or succeed in life at the same time. Other ‘friends’ of mine stopped hanging out with me because at the time I didn’t have a car. As soon as success shows itself then they all of a sudden would want to be your friend again. #Weirdo’s.
Another lesson learned living in South Africa is that people will hurt you; you have to have thick skin. But they are only hurting you because they want what you have. When or if you don’t have anything, nobody cares about you. My friend has been living in her flat for about5 years now. She recently bought a flat screen TV. Two weeks after buying the TV she almost got robbed in the early hours of the morning. You see progress attracts attention, some for the good but mostly for the bad.
I’ve learnt that birds of the same feathers are not good birds, if we are both broke, we can’t motivate each other to get un-broke, but if one of us is broke, one of us can motivate the other.
I’ve learnt that the older I get the less easy it is to lose body fat. When I once used to spend 20 minutes on the treadmill, recently that number has gone up an hour, but it’s worth it.
In South Africa and anywhere in the world , insecurities won’t get you anywhere in life, they will leave you stuck in the mud and sinking. Ive learn to embrace all my imperfections.
I’ve learnt that every day is a work day, nobody ever got rich not putting in the work.
Learn to party, always slay, love whole heartedly, don’t trust females, work hard, own your own shit, be proud of your achievements and spend less time on instagram, spent more time working and perfecting your craft and while you are at it, LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE FULLEST, DO WHAT EVER MAKES YOUR HAPPY.
P.S if you want to get married, date a guy that’s ready.